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Blonde Jokes
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Adult jokes, blonde jokes.
Here are some of the most interesting jokes about our favorite girls -
blonde jokes. More to come in no time ;)
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Why do blondes wear green lipstick? Because red means
stop!
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Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well
over 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, " do ya see any cops
following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of
fact, I do." "Damn!" cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on? The blonde
turned around again. "Yup... nope... yup... nope... yup...."
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There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to
the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a
diet for three days "Eat anything and everything you want for the first
two days of your diet. Then skip the third day." So the blonde went home
and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then
she skipped the third day. The next day she went back to the doctor and he
asked her, "How is your diet?" She said, "Well, the first two days were
easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really
tired."
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the
door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the
door open, but they just couldn't! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped
for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry
up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
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Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all
talking about their daughters.
The Brunette said "I was looking through my daughters things and I found
cigarettes, I can't believe my daughter smokes."
The Redhead says "Ladies, I was looking through my daughters things and I
found a bottle of liquor, I can't believe my daughter drinks."
The Blond says "I was looking through my daughters things and I found a
pack of condoms, I can't believe my daughter has a dick!"
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A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the
English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no
sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave
concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally
arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the
young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she
leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I
think those other girls used their arms."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her
husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful
redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps
out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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One day, a blonde went to a ventriloquist show. During the
show, the ventriloquist used his "dummy" to make fun of blondes. The crowd
roared with laughter, but the blonde was angry.
Outraged, she stood up and said, "How dare you make fun of blondes!"
The ventriloquist replied saying, "Madam, I'm very sorry. But it's just
part of the act."
The blonde screamed, "You shutup! I'm talking to the little man on your
knee!"
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After leaving a store, a blonde walked out and went up to
a soda machine. The blonde put in 50 cents and out popped a coke. She
searched her bag for more money. She found some and kept feeding the
machine money. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles began rolling
down the street.
A young man walked up behind her and watched this for a few minutes. Then
he asked, "Can I get one now?"
She whizzed around and yelled, "No way, can't you see I'm winning?"
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are standing in front
of the Mirror of Truth. It sucks up and kills anyone who tells a lie in
front of it. So the brunette says, "I'm the smartest person in the world."
She gets sucked up and dies.The redhead says,"I've got the most curly
hair," and she gets sucked up and dies also. The blonde says,"I
think....." and she gets sucked up and dies.
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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde had just robbed a bank
and they were trying to escape from the cops. They ran down an alley and
saw three huge potato sacks. They hopped inside just in time, and the cops
didn't see them. Puzzled, the cops looked at the bags suspiciously. One
cop kicked the brunette's bag, she meowed, and the cop thought nothing of
it. He then kicked the redhead's bag, she made a clanking noise with her
shoes, and the cop thought it was just some garbage. Then he moved on to
the blonde's bag. He kicked it and she said "Potatoes!"
Have fun, more blonde jokes soming soon !!!
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